Today’s been a difficult day, I’m sitting here at work not getting paid enough both for the work I do and to be away from my kids. I think about my daughter, this morning she wanted to send a treat to work with me so she grabbed a candy bar out of the pantry and put it in my purse. She can be so sweet sometimes and others well…we know how kids are. Then my son was running around and ran into the counter top and gave himself a good egg on his forehead so I would love nothing more than to be there and snuggle with him and put BooRoo on his poor little head. But instead I’m sitting at work getting paid next to nothing, it’s not even enough to cover my monthly bills, at a temporary position that ends when summer is over while my kids are in daycare. Talk about feeling depressed, at least when I’m home with my kids they give me something to smile about and a reason to be thankful. Right now the only thing I’m thankful for is that it’s Friday and I get to spend the next two days with the ones I love.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Feeling Low
My purpose here is to let all the families that are in the same position as mine know that they are not alone. There are many of us out there that are dealing with the same types of struggles but most are too ashamed to admit it. It has taken me a while to even be able to let my family know that I am unable to pay my monthly bills on time. I have called myself a failure over and over, thinking I have failed at steady work and finding my career path in life, I have failed at providing my kids with everything they want, they get what they need but it would be nice to buy them that toy they want even though it’s not needed. I have thought to myself that I have failed my husband by not helping him out more with the bills, but most of all I have failed myself by not being where I thought I would be at this stage of my life. Lately it seems like the only thing I succeed at is failure. Then last night my husband reminded me that I’m not a failure because I’m a great mom. That’s exactly what I need to keep telling myself to be able to get out of this rut we are in, maybe by the end of things I won’t feel like such a failure.