Kids and Custody

Times are tough for everyone right now but children always deserve what is best for them so how can a parent with a lack of a good paycheck take a case back to court to better the life of their child? I am sitting here trying to figure this out with little success. I am behind on my bills and only working as an intern for the summer with hopes of finding something permanent in the fall. So let me tell you my story.

This morning I was taking my daughter to summer school and we were talking about her dad because of a discussion he and I had last night. I was telling her how there are things that are more important than always having fun like a clean house, proper clothing and proper meals and nutrition for starters. His house is a mess, her clothes look like they came out of the garbage at Salvation Army or are too small (like her underwear) and they eat out I would say 95% of the time when she’s there. Upon my mentioning this she told me that the cupboards at his house are dirty partially because they never go in them since he doesn’t know how to cook and there’s little to no food in them and also because of the mice in the house, there’s droppings in them. Then I found out she hasn’t been sleeping in her bedroom because she’s seen mice in it so she slept the last two nights on the couch… What 10 year old should have to be exposed to improper meals and potentially deadly diseases that can be carried by rodents. Especially when there is a perfectly safe and healthy home for them to be at instead? My daughter loves her dad and they do go on fun adventures so I have no intention of taking that away but I would like to alter the schedule so she only has to go every other weekend instead of every other Wednesday through Sunday night. During the week she isn’t there much any ways since he works a lot of overtime and drops her off with me by 7pm on Wednesday and Thursday and usually by 5 on Sundays. I think this would be a lot easier on her especially as she gets older and school becomes more demanding. At least when she’s home with me she gets a good home cooked meal, we sit down and do her homework, I make sure she takes time to read. When she’s at his house she plays on Facebook (which she shouldn’t because of her age), plays games on other sites and sits and watches TV while he is usually on the phone (this is what she tells me).

Back in May 2004 her dad and I started the custody dispute and in June of 2007 the court ordered 50/50 placement. There was a GAL appointed and we both had our attorneys, in the end I did not agree with the court’s decision but I had no choice except to go with it. The GAL who was supposed to be looking out for the best interest of the child was in my mind basing her decision on the fact that there were two parents so the child should split their time evenly. Being that this is what the GAL felt the judge of course ordered accordingly. Now here we are 5 years later and things at her dad’s house are getting worse. Just recently we had a bit of a heated discussion because he doesn’t see the need to ask her what she wants to do and I completely disagree with that. She’s 10 now and should have some say as to where she goes and what she does. That heated discussion ended with him telling me he wishes he would have shot me when he had the chance. Now what parent that is truly interested in the best interest of their child would ever wish something like that? I also recently found out she is afraid to tell her dad what she really wants and tells him what he wants to hear because she doesn’t want to make him mad. What child should have to worry about what they say to their parents in the fear of making them mad? I told her she is to not worry about making either of us mad or hurting our feelings it is very important for her to be strong and stand for what she believes and wants. I’m also afraid that if she’s like this with her dad it’s going to lead to an abusive type relationship when she gets older. I want her to grow up to be a strong independent young woman not someone who is afraid to believe in and stand up for herself.

I would like to have this case revisited so she would only have to go every other weekend instead of midweek (especially as she’s getting older and school is becoming more demanding) and for someone to go into his home and tell him that the living conditions need to improve starting with an exterminator and some bleach if he would like her to spend time there. But unfortunately I don’t have another three to five thousand dollars to spend on attorney fees and I don’t really feel a GAL is needed; my daughter would simply sit down with the judge and tell him/her what she wants.